To answer the first, it can be justified in many different ways. When a newbie pops out of mud school, an instructor sends the relevant possible mentor a tell. From there the mentor can come up with whatever reasons they want for making contact. As for the teaching factor, experienced professionals can teach newer ones. It's just the way of the world!
Is that the kind of answer you were looking for? It feels kind of intuitive and hollow to me, so maybe I'm missing some context.
Secondly, it is virtually impossible to level without grinding, either on quests or NPCs (or most likely both). While it's conceivable to level only on RP-based rewards given out by paragons (they have PAR in the who list), it's highly unlikely, would take a long time, and I don't know anyone who's done it in the last, oh, nine years.
The who list is considered IC info. Again, you can justify it however you like. I usually say that the who list is based on rumor. "Oh, you're XXX? I heard you were the knightlord of the Empire..."
RP is enforced, but people are generally lenient (though of course, there are some idiots). If you kill some NPCs in cities, like citizens or guards or other sentients, you can be reported to a judge and go to jail for an IC day, or have various other punishments inflicted for different crimes. You'll know if you're going to get reported, because you attack something and everything else immediately leaves the room. They're on their way to the judge. Additionally, some players will patrol places their characters believe should be left unspoilt. If they catch you they might tell you to go away, or they might attack you. If it's the former, most likely what they're after is a bit of lip service "Yes, it's bad, sorry I did it, no, I'll never do it again." - then leave and come back one minute later.
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