Achernar wrote:
I'm not sure what else we should have done in the situation, except nothing.
I have an idea for something that that you should have done in this situation: you could apologize to a player who acted no differently from many many others before him, and who in no way shape or form broke the rules. Aldric and Ealuriel come to mind as two very big examples of utilizing charm offensively a -lot-, yet they were never spoken to.
You saying that you're not interested in apologizing because "innocent people get sent to hell all the time" and because "Threats of punishment are what we do. Immortals. I'm fine with you gone. I just think you're overreacting." Yet at the same time you think that you have been "reasonable the whole time." That's a very poor way to show respect to the player-base.
Your actions as an IMM are always closely scrutinized by the players, and being able to admit when you made a mistake, however rightly you may have felt it was at the time, or however poorly the other person may have taken it, would be pretty encouraging towards the rest of the pbase.