What does your significant other think of SK?

grep · **Joined:** Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:50 pm **Posts:** 5522

woahboy wrote:

Relationship advice here in trollandia...

It isn't meant in any sort of pejorative way, but the situation is bleak. 90's girls all over the country are waking up and smelling the pumpkin spice, looking at their Lisa Frank IRA Portfolios, and realizing that as they approach the big year 4-0 they steadily become less and less likely to get one of the most secure arrangements possible in an economy and society still besieged by disparate gender, racial, and class injustice: marriage.

No offense, but a mildly insecure gamer guy who can hold a stable enough job to anchor a home, perhaps even get a gig with benefits, is pure gold. The acid test for the long-term viability of such a vein is the "I have needs!" line: it is testing how malleable one is to the desires of another. It's fair and healthy to negotiate a relationship, but in today's world (as well as much of yesterday's, to be fair) that can be an exploitative form of emotional usury.

There are many burn victims here. Learn from your fellow community members. Love is coming. With all its glory... and all its horror.

Guard your feels.

Uruvielle · **Joined:** Sun Mar 10, 2013 10:02 pm **Posts:** 21

I met my currently boyfriend through sk and we still play together and not always as a couple or even people who know each other in the game.

ninja_ardith · **Joined:** Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:21 pm **Posts:** 4452

grep wrote:

woahboy wrote:

Relationship advice here in trollandia...

It isn't meant in any sort of pejorative way, but the situation is bleak. 90's girls all over the country are waking up and smelling the pumpkin spice, looking at their Lisa Frank IRA Portfolios, and realizing that as they approach the big year 4-0 they steadily become less and less likely to get one of the most secure arrangements possible in an economy and society still besieged by disparate gender, racial, and class injustice: marriage.

No offense, but a mildly insecure gamer guy who can hold a stable enough job to anchor a home, perhaps even get a gig with benefits, is pure gold. The acid test for the long-term viability of such a vein is the "I have needs!" line: it is testing how malleable one is to the desires of another. It's fair and healthy to negotiate a relationship, but in today's world (as well as much of yesterday's, to be fair) that can be an exploitative form of emotional usury.

There are many burn victims here. Learn from your fellow community members. Love is coming. With all its glory... and all its horror.

Guard your feels.

Marriage is not a secure arrangement. Divorce rates are at 50%, married couples are rapidly becoming the minority and tax incentives are actually starting to get flipped on their head and it's becoming more expensive tax-wise to be married.

grep · **Joined:** Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:50 pm **Posts:** 5522

You're telling me that 50% of marriages can end in the establishment of annuities, and that is evidence that they are insecure arrangements?

ninja_ardith · **Joined:** Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:21 pm **Posts:** 4452

grep wrote:

You're telling me that 50% of marriages can end in the establishment of annuities, and that is evidence that they are insecure arrangements?

Annuities can have a time limit, and are only really worth it if you're like this woman:

http://kfor.com/2014/11/10/oklahoma-bil ... announced/

this, however, is headed into an argument concerning family law which mostly concerns magistrates shrugging their shoulders and saying, "looks legit."

ninja_ardith · **Joined:** Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:21 pm **Posts:** 4452

ladyjennbo wrote:

Trosis wrote:

So... I just started dating this girl a little over a month ago. I don't usually date Cuz I do the [REMOVED] thing. But not any longer.
I told her that I play SK and explained that it's "in mideval times an there are a bunch of countries constantly at war with eachother." I told her about my faction and brough up the various faiths. Tried to explain how were able to make our characters however we want. She understood the concept and then began asking about the amount of time I actually play it, I told her "um... Sometimes i play six hours a day or more." Her jaw dropped. "Well, I have needs!" She said. I told her that one to two hours a day would allow me to still survive in the game. She seems to be accepting that this is how I spend my time. But I think she views it as dumb because there are no graphics.
I'm just hoping she doesn't try to pull an ultimatum on me and say "it's either me or your game!"
...because if that were the case I think my playtime would increase dramatically shortly thereafter. Lol

So do any of you have any tips about how to keep her at bay? How to get her interested in my storyline? Anything like that?

For god's sake, if you have a girlfriend, don't play a game for 6 hours a day. 1-2 hours is fine, or maybe more on weekends. Don't EVER be like "hey, sorry, we can't go to the movies tonight I gotta go to the Dreamscape tonight" and if she's like "honey can you come help me" don't be like "HOLD ON I'M PLAYING SK friendly SHEESH" or she'll start to resent it if it takes time away from her. Don't make her compete with the game at all; real people should always win. That doesn't mean you won't find time to play, even daily. Lots of people in relationships and with families do, especially once you're settled in a routine and don't go out all the time!

I disagree with some of this. Why should she have to compete with his SK time (obviously I already think he plays too much, but whatever). The relationship based on that doesn't have the propensity to become unhealthy, it's already unhealthy. One person already has problems with validation, doesn't feel that their self-worth is enough already, and externalizes that. I don't buy these time arguments. How much time do we really spend with each other?

The very same friend of mine that I showed you that was practicing for the upcoming Christmas concert was dating this smoking hot girl. Easy 9 or 10. She didn't want him spending any time with friends at all, just her, and he had gone so far as to propose marriage to her at one point. They were all set to get married and then he just up and dumped her. Now he gets to do whatever he wants.

jreid_1985 · **Posted:** Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:25 pm

lol Define needs. Was she joking or did she have a serious look on her face when she said that?

ladyjennbo · **Posted:** Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:42 pm

ninja_ardith wrote:

ladyjennbo wrote:

Trosis wrote:

So... I just started dating this girl a little over a month ago. I don't usually date Cuz I do the [REMOVED] thing. But not any longer.
I told her that I play SK and explained that it's "in mideval times an there are a bunch of countries constantly at war with eachother." I told her about my faction and brough up the various faiths. Tried to explain how were able to make our characters however we want. She understood the concept and then began asking about the amount of time I actually play it, I told her "um... Sometimes i play six hours a day or more." Her jaw dropped. "Well, I have needs!" She said. I told her that one to two hours a day would allow me to still survive in the game. She seems to be accepting that this is how I spend my time. But I think she views it as dumb because there are no graphics.
I'm just hoping she doesn't try to pull an ultimatum on me and say "it's either me or your game!"
...because if that were the case I think my playtime would increase dramatically shortly thereafter. Lol

So do any of you have any tips about how to keep her at bay? How to get her interested in my storyline? Anything like that?

For god's sake, if you have a girlfriend, don't play a game for 6 hours a day. 1-2 hours is fine, or maybe more on weekends. Don't EVER be like "hey, sorry, we can't go to the movies tonight I gotta go to the Dreamscape tonight" and if she's like "honey can you come help me" don't be like "HOLD ON I'M PLAYING SK friendly SHEESH" or she'll start to resent it if it takes time away from her. Don't make her compete with the game at all; real people should always win. That doesn't mean you won't find time to play, even daily. Lots of people in relationships and with families do, especially once you're settled in a routine and don't go out all the time!

I disagree with some of this. Why should she have to compete with his SK time (obviously I already think he plays too much, but whatever). The relationship based on that doesn't have the propensity to become unhealthy, it's already unhealthy. One person already has problems with validation, doesn't feel that their self-worth is enough already, and externalizes that. I don't buy these time arguments. How much time do we really spend with each other?

The very same friend of mine that I showed you that was practicing for the upcoming Christmas concert was dating this smoking hot girl. Easy 9 or 10. She didn't want him spending any time with friends at all, just her, and he had gone so far as to propose marriage to her at one point. They were all set to get married and then he just up and dumped her. Now he gets to do whatever he wants.

Maybe I'm assuming Trosis is in a healthy relationship and that they don't live together because it's new and thus don't see each other every single day, so the time they do spend together should matter. "Quality time" is one of the five love languages so it isn't the quantity, but quality, of time spent together that matters.

I don't know, though. I'm married. I spend lots of time with my significant other by default. I'm settled into a routine, and I play SK in front of him and he doesn't mind. Trosis didn't ask us "should I spend the rest of my life with her" or "is she the right girl for me," he asked us how to warm her up to the idea of his playing SK. I assume in Trosis' world he wants to have both options, and this provides a good choice.

Trosis these other clowns are single, male, or polyamorous like grep. I'm monogamous, female, boring, and married, and I play SK. listen to meeee

ninja_ardith · **Joined:** Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:21 pm **Posts:** 4452

ladyjennbo wrote:

Maybe I'm assuming Trosis is in a healthy relationship and that they don't live together and thus don't see each other every single day, so the time they do spend together should matter. "Quality time" is one of the five love languages so it isn't the quantity, but quality, of time spent together that matters.

I don't know, though. I'm married. I spend lots of time with my significant other by default. I'm settled into a routine, and I play SK in front of him and he doesn't mind. Trosis didn't ask us "should I spend the rest of my life with her" or "is she the right girl for me," he asked us how to warm her up to the idea of his playing SK. I assume in Trosis' world he wants to have both options, and this provides a good choice.

Trosis these other clowns are single, male, or polyamorous like grep. I'm monogamous, female, boring, and married, and I play SK. listen to meeee

You sound like you're happily married. Divorce him.

Opey · **Posted:** Wed Nov 26, 2014 3:52 pm

Ardith should have a reality show giving horrible advice to idiots who listen to him. That would be a hilarious show.

"Ardith, there is this girl I like but I'm shy. What should I do?

Ardith: "Dude, you should slap her [REDACTED] and then be like, 'yah bae, u me gonna have sum fuk.' Girls dig that."

Shattered Kingdoms

What does your significant other think of SK?

Who is online